Gillian (iamtheocean) wrote,

back on the face of the earth, having fallen off for a week to do revels

um...lessee. friday was a bad morning, dad said he would drive me to the show and then flipped a shit at me in the car, pulled over in the center and told me to get out then just drove off. so i took a bus in. first show was of course mildly insane, then back to school for a bio quiz, math, weird not-quite-there feeling all over. then back for another show, a production meeting at the bar in the sheridan commander, and home. saturday brought a little sleep, then off again for 2 more shows. nice long break in between, shopping (buttons and proletariat (wonderful shop, rather expensive for a secondhand place, though...)), and then the second show. beautiful, finally actually got a seat to do spot from, which was nice because it gave me arm a break (we had been rather twitching before) and strike. juliet and i told the lovely audience members to get the hell off the stage (smiling beautifically, of course), and then took everything apart. coiled cable for about an hour, then climbed up to the eaves above the sanctuary with juliet and lowered the cross, cleaned up all the gels, and poked around for a while. juliet went back downstairs, i went up to the belfry. beautiful beyond belief. gorgeous. then out to john harvard's for our after-run entertainment, home by midnight. sleeping, lots of it, sunday was gorgeous. sat out on the lawn on a tea towel eating baby corn out of half open can wearing nylon plaid and atrocious patterns and enjoyed the Eccentricity, then off to practice. and then today happened.

grumpiness in the morning, because school and shit like that. dad was being kind of annoying, and when i asked him to leave me alone he got pissy and i just gave up and started baiting him. first time in an awfully long while, and i hate saying it, but it *smack* got flipped out at (totally deservedly, this time), stormed out on, etc. almost started hyperventilating, started breathing very deeply and calming down. then 2 minutes out the door on the walk to school the snow was just too much like tears and i started crying. put pennywise in the discman to get a sharp dose of cynicism and teenage rebellion so i could get through school, and it just didn't work. cried halfway there, got into the building and dumped my coat, my stuff, wandered around a bit totally on another planet. weird morning, found ms. buttaro after first block and made an appointment. english, spanish, meeting with MB, 45 minutes of weirdness. talked, couldn't really get out what i meant, but felt sort of better because i was so close to crying and didn't and felt in control and shit like that. lunch, got a pass to go to ceramics during study so i could actually finish my pot, then off to gym and then history. took the multiple choice section, got jokingly yelled at for not telling her earlier, felt inexplicably guilty, went to pottery last block and satisfied my grubbiness urge. started feeling better, got a little bit of love after school that i really needed, walked home. was too cynical for mom, got a door slammed in my face. she hid in the study for 20 minutes or so, went to ariela's and was rather out of it. ariela drove me home, then dinner and will and grace. slightly better, then listening to JCSuperstar.

in short: revels=awesome, parents=immature, i=apatheticandstupid

who are you, what have you sacrificed? you think you're what they say you are?

conclusion: the middle segment of judas' death scene (in between "does he love me too? does he care for me?" and "my god...i'm sick...i've been used") has the coolest music ever, and should be made into a techno song that would be perfect dance music. simply too cool for words.

gillian: shrink for hire. cooks, cleans, subscribes to most every whim. specializes in reality checks and stiff doses of cynicism, practical to a fault, can be compassionate when need is great enough. payment/tips requested in the form of queer movies.
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